Welcome to the Zone



 I can't get up

Im in the Zone

I can't move

Im in the Zone.


The moments of pain,

Fuel the Zone

The painful memories

Create the Zone

And here I am

In the Zone.


The Zone

is the writing space

the place of anguish

the place of physical pain

the place where the memories

of the abuse

of the relentless fear

of the ongoing trauma

Live Unchecked in the Zone.


The Zone 

is the productive part

of the complexities

that plague my past

and refuse to allow me to sleep

and when I do sleep 

refuse to allow me to wake.


The Zone is the compilation of feelings

thought

emotions

pains

aches

memories

wishes

nightmares

dreams

betrayals

fears

and all that has past.


The Zone is

and always will be,

the place where the disordered thinking

goes

to organize itself,

and becomes what you fear on paper.


I may never be great, 

and that's fine,

I never truly wanted to be known,

as being known is risking the exposure of deep self

publicly.

However, I am what I am 

now,

because of the Zone.

All it has taught me,

of pain

perseverance,

terror

irrefutable criminal behavior,

that those with money or a badge will never see the consequence

of.

The Zone has taught me that money absolves crime.

Badges make wounds invisible to those who are duty bound to protect.

Fear

Compliance 

Anger

Justice

Criminality

Saviorism

Are all just terms that in actuality

mean...

nothing at all.


And when concepts

used to enforce

Social Norms

Mean 

nothing

then

we 

also

as humans

mean nothing


This is adoption in the United States of America.

This is what I feel as an adoptee.

This is just

1 part of the puzzle

BUT until those causing harm,

death

destruction

pain

suffering

torture

On adoptees are held accountable

stopped

prosecuted

challenged publicly


Nothing will change

unless

WE CHANGE IT.

-Madi-



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