An Adopted Thanksgiving



 Sometimes it isn't just about the holiday, sometimes its everything to do with the memories. Like be so fucking for real right now, the fact is that my family as a whole sucks. What happens when thanks giving is just an excuse to publicly neglect the kids in your home and get away with it. And what is holidays are just the time to publicly humiliate the one person who actually called you on your shit. Like how many thanks givings in a row can one child be in trouble and grounded and kept away from all the adults and family in a row before those adults SAY something? To those who did, I am eternally grateful. To those who still make excuses for them, FUCK YOU. And to those who didn't know what else to do, your concerns fell on deaf ears and the authorities ignored you, I know. I know what you did, I know how concerned you were and yes I made it out alive. Thank you to all who tried. Thank you to all who fought for me, thank you to all who did the absolute most, confronted my abusers and didn't back down. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Long term, I have severe trauma disorders that spike in triggers drastically during the holidays, I struggle to verbalize it, I feel worthless, I feel like a waste, I feel less than and nothing has ever been able to fix it. Yet here I am still pushing, still struggling and still going. I am who I am and I have made the choice to do the parenting thing so different than how I was raised. I have chosen to be different than they were. I do not regret a single moment with my "difficult" child. I do not hold his very existence over his head. I do not hold his place within my family over his head. Despite everything, he is worth every tear, every struggle, every moment, ever frustration because and for the simple fact that he is MY SON.


Of all the things in life, I am the most grateful for my child. above all, always and forever. I chose to be a mother so he is my responsibility to love and raise and support unconditionally. So this year if you have adopted children I implore you, PLEASE, for the love of all things good take accountability for YOUR choice that YOU made to be their parent. they don't owe you SHIT, not gratitude not thanks, you owe them gratitude for living with you and being a part of your family however you came to that decision. 

Just an adoptee standing up for the younger ones <3

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